Sharing a Last Snack

Hi Mom,
  One last snack to share with you.
I love you.
---D.

It really is the most perfect snack :).

Memorial

I have a Blog I’ve been building for a handful of years.  It documents random events, emails, visits, pictures, conversations with Mom.  Not just with me, but anyone that I occasionally found time to add to it.  The week before Yom Kippur I was adding an entry to it.  At the end, I went to type “I Love You Mom”.  But I mistyped, and it came out “I Live You Mom”.    

I corrected it, but then thought about what an interesting slip of the fingers that was. 
I live you mom.

Our mother imparted to us, the facets of her own life and her own personality.  I like unusual people.  It’s not my fault.  She loved learning about people.  Strangers as well as friends.  And she had the most interesting of friends.  From such creative walks of life.  

She lost her husband, Simon, at much too young an age.  I was so young that I don’t remember him.  But her trauma became my trauma.  And her stories of how good a person he was became my model for how to be a good person.  And a model of Tikun Olam that lives strongly I think, in each of us.

She loved classical music.  But what 6 year old wants to go to the opera?  Or listen to it on the drive home from temple on Friday nights? But which of us does not enjoy opera and classical music today?

But perhaps most of all, she was eternally curious.  It didn’t matter if she didn’t fully understand the explanations she got back.  Or even if she was able to remember them.  It was the unknown that intrigued her, and the challenge of learning something new that kept her going. 

Last week Wednesday evening, I was visiting with Julie.  I returned at almost 10pm.  Mom was still up. She had paused her show, Jeopardy. She was playing Words-With-Friends while waiting for me.  She wanted to watch the show together.  I was very touched and overjoyed. I so loved watching Jeopardy with her, and she didn’t always wait for me during my visits. 

We watched, and both struggled to get the answers.  It was a difficult board for us both, that night.  In Final-Jeopardy, she got the answer correct.  She was so pleased with herself.   And I was so proud of her.  I feel that eternal curiosity from her.  I drive my wife crazy with it sometimes.  But I hope to live up to my mother’s model as I grow older.  It was so sustaining for her. 

Our mother gave us each pieces of herself.  They’ve become pieces of us.  They’ve become pieces of me.

I Love You Mom.

I Live You Mom.

Emailing Friends and Family

Hello all,

  I have copied as many people as I have in my email address book, but I know it is not all. Please pass the news as you are able.  

My mother, Lisa Ruden Earle passed away earlier this afternoon, at the life fulfilled age of 93.  She was resting and comfortable at home, surrounded by daughter Julie, and son Lenny.  I was in the middle of making travel arrangements to fly down when I heard the news. 

 This was generally expected as she had a month ago halted medications for her condition and signed up for Hospice.  Over the following 4 or 5 weeks, her medication side effects departed, and while still fatigued on and off through out the day, she did very very well, surprising everyone with her renewed vibrance for life, visiting with family frequently, and even swimming a couple times.  As the doctors had predicted, her blood count dropped to a threshold low level and her condition turned downwards very quickly at the end.  Last Wednesday night she complained of neck and shoulder pain keeping her awake.  A strong pain killer helped put the pain down and she slept well.  Thursday was mostly normal (such as had become her normal), but with a somewhat increased level of fatigue.  Overnight, the neck and shoulder pain returned at an increased level.  She was thankful to have small doses of morphine on hand from Hospice.  Friday she was very tired and remained in bed for the day.  Saturday was more of the same.  She had not eaten for several days by then, and had very little water - she was mostly sleeping.  Finally early Sunday afternoon, she quietly passed.  

  We are all deeply grieved.  But we wanted to be sure to reach out to all of you as we are able, to let you know the news.  She loved and enjoyed knowing every one of you, in the various and interesting ways she knew you.  As do I. 

All our love to you.

---Dave, Julie, Lenny R.

Public Aannouncement

Dr. Lisa Ruden Earle, 93 years old, passed away peacefully at home on Sunday September 22^nd 2013.

She is survived by her 3 children - Leonard Ruden, David Ruden, & Julia Ruden; her daughter-in-law Pam Ruden, 4 Step Sons - James Earle, Richard Earle, Timothy Earle, & Michael Earle; 10 grandchildren and 7 great-grand children.

Funeral service will be held at Temple Israel of Highlands County, 1305 Temple Israel Drive on Tuesday September 24^th at 10 AM 

Graveside service will be held immediately following in Ft. Lauderdale 3:00 PM at Evergreen Historic Cemetery, 1300 S.E. 10^thAve., Ft Lauderdale, 33315

Buses will be provided for those who need transportation to Evergreen Historic Cemetery in Ft Lauderdale.

Buffet will follow graveside service at the Sheraton Ft. Lauderdale Beach Hotel, 1140 Sea Breeze Blvd. Ft. Lauderdale 33316

Buses will return to Sebring by evening.

In lieu of flowers donations can be made to Temple Israel of Highland’s County at the above address, in honor and memory of Dr. Lisa Ruden Earle.

Passing the word

From: Dave R
Sent: Sunday, September 22, 2013 8:57 PM
Subject: Dr. Lisa Ruden Earle

Hello all,

  I have copied as many people as I have in my email address book, but I know it is not all. Please pass the news as you are able.  

My mother, Lisa Ruden Earle passed away earlier this afternoon, at the life fulfilled age of 93.  She was resting and comfortable at home, surrounded by daughter Julie, and son Lenny.  I was in the middle of making travel arrangements to fly down when I heard the news. 

 This was generally expected as she had a month ago halted medications for her condition and signed up for Hospice.  Over the following 4 or 5 weeks, her medication side effects departed, and while still fatigued on and off through out the day, she did very very well, surprising everyone with her renewed vibrance for life, visiting with family frequently, and even swimming a couple times.  As the doctors had predicted, her blood count dropped to a threshold low level and her condition turned downwards very quickly at the end.  Last Wednesday night she complained of neck and shoulder pain keeping her awake.  A strong pain killer helped put the pain down and she slept well.  Thursday was mostly normal (such as had become her normal), but with a somewhat increased level of fatigue.  Overnight, the neck and shoulder pain returned at an increased level.  She was thankful to have small doses of morphine on hand from Hospice.  Friday she was very tired and remained in bed for the day.  Saturday was more of the same.  She had not eaten for several days by then, and had very little water - she was mostly sleeping.  Finally early Sunday afternoon, she quietly passed.  

  We are all deeply grieved.  But we wanted to be sure to reach out to all of you as we are able, to let you know the news.  She loved and enjoyed knowing every one of you, in the various and interesting ways she knew you.  As do I. 

All our love to you.

---Dave, Julie, Lenny R.

Merrie Meyers

From: Merrie Meyers
Sent: Sunday, September 22, 2013 6:01 PM
To: Alan Levy
Cc: Julie Ruden
Subject: Lisa

Dear Marsha and Alan,

Lisa passed away this afternoon. She was 93.

She's begun to fail about a month or so ago. She had a type of cancer that ABC Anchor Robin Roberts had been fighting, MDS or myelodysplastic syndrome. It's a disease of the blood and bone marrow and was once known as pre-leukemia. Although, because of her age, she was not able to have the surgery to replace her bone marrow, she'd been doing quite well with regular transfusions to keep her blood counts stable. Recently, though, the transfusions had stopped having a positive effect. She's been in hospice care for the better part of a week, however, was strong and alert enough to send out emails regarding a potential hacking of her Facebook page. (Vintage Lisa, no?).

I spoke to Julie this afternoon. She passed peacefully at home in Lake Placid. Lenny is there now, and David is on his way. There will be a short service in Lake Placid and then the family will come down here for a graveside ceremony at Evergreen, where she will be laid to rest in the family's plot, next to Simon and their daughter, Susie. I don't know the particulars of the Ft. Lauderdale timeline, but Julie is thinking things will roll out later this week.

I will keep you posted as to the details of the service and the Shiva. Julie wants to have a Shiva at a local hotel since there are so many people who knew and loved her. Although Donnie McCloskey is gone, there should be enough of the "old gang" that will come to remember.

After all, she came to this country as a teenager, not even finishing high school. After Simon died, as a single mom, she dabbled in the arts, started the Opera company, earned her GED, graduated from BC, and FAU, where she received her Ph.D. at 70. "Dr. Mom," as Julie nicknamed her, was such a vivacious person, that I truly believed she's outlast all of us. She survived several bouts of cancer and the loss of two husbands, and a couple of other serious ailments. Yet, despite everything, she remained such an optimist. I went to see her a couple of months ago and even though she needed a walker for strength, she had that athletic look, as though she could bound out the door to play a set of tennis in Holiday Park. It was only in the last month that she expressed fatigue and a readiness "to be done with it."

I have fond memories of growing up as part of the extended Ruden household, sharing birthdays, holidays, and family dinners. Who knew that Lisa's "friends" were legends in the world of Opera or that she herself had a world class voice. All I knew was that she joined my grandfather, who studied to be a cantor, in stellar singing, that she  made a hell of a goulash, terrific crepes and offered me a much needed a refuge from what was a rocky existence in my home. I will always have a sweet spot for "Singing Waters." her house on Solar Isle, and the people in it.

As soon as I get details, I will pass them on. Lisa certainly was a role model for me and for so many others.

Zie Gezundt, Merrie

The Universe

The center of the universe.
Has died.
How.
Can it go on.
Without her.