From: drlisaearle [mailto:drlisaearle@earthlink.net]
Sent: Monday, June 04, 2007 2:29 PM
To: Dave Ruden; DAVID RUDEN
Subject: Fw: Miriam
This is the little Fare-well message I delivered to say "Good-
By" to a most beloved friend at there Funeral service last Wednesday.
Thought you might like to read it...did quite a few Ad-libs besides this prepared script. I don't quite trust my ancient memory completely any more -on my birthday, when you were present, I only talked about those people who were present and didn't need to prepare anything, just had to look at them....so that was different. I was much too emotional to depend on my antique brain :((((
-------Original Message-------
From: Lisa
Date: 5/29/2007 11:48:50 AM
To: drlisaearle@earthlink.net
Subject: Fw: Miriam
-----Forwarded Message-----
>From: Lisa
>Sent: May 29, 2007 11:47 AM
>To: jruden@earthlink.net
>Subject: Miriam
>
>My dear, beloved Friend of over 60 years, my dear Miriam:
>
>I am here today to thank you for letting me say "Good bye" to you, before you were ready to join your beloved husband, Irving! Eight months ago, after you moved to be near your so caring, wonderful son David, we had missed that visit when I had the accident that landed me in the hospital with a broken neck,which is bedeviling me still. Last Thursday, when we came down for other reasons, we did get that precious chance to tell you how much we loved you - thank you for waiting...
>
>This service for you today is not only to tell you how much you will be missed, but to celebrate your wonderful, rich ,so completely fulfilled, beautiful long life! When my husband Simon Ruden and I arrived and settled in Fort Lauderdale we met the most perfect couple, we thought, Irving Wellens and his beautiful, charming wife, Miriam, who really, in my eyes, was perfection personified. A magnificent mother to two charming, delightful sons, she proofed to be a true blessing to the community. As prsesident of B'nai B'rith, she spread Good Will throughout the community - she even talked me, with heavy accent and all, to folloow her footsteps in her charitable organizations, she was the ultimate Party giver -her lovely home was always a the top of the line, so to speak, for any visitors to drop in any time, in short, she was "Perfection" personified!
>
>Miriam, gratefully,you have been so fulfilled in any human endevour -and we thank the good Lord for this! Though it is hard to say "Good bye" to someone so special, our one comfort today is the fact, that when it is time for all of us to lay down this "Mortal Foil", we will hopefully meet you again, wherever your immortal soul resides. In the meantime, we celebrate your wonderfull life and know, that you are now together again with your beloved, precious husband, Irving!
>
>Not Good bye, Miriam, but "So long"! Wishing you a blessed Journey into Eternity!
>
>Your "forever" friend, LISA
>
>... with special greetings and smiles from Julie, my oh so wonderful daughter, who loves you in a very special way...
Addition by Dave:
Of course I too will miss her. I knew Mirrian and Irving as one of my mother's many many friends. They would be there for many of my mother's large vivacious parties. As it was for me, I look back on those days with great joy and love, but realize that perhaps so many people overwhelmed me a bit, and although I knew the friends she had over, it took me many many years to actually get to "know" them, by name and/or personally.
So it was with Mirriam. One day when my mother was vising me in Boca Raton, perhaps 1993 or 94, I was maybe 30, we (my mother and I) met Mirriam for lunch at the elegant Mizner Park complex. Mirriam lived in Boca, so it was a nice opportunity for them to see each other again. I've always had a pretty good sense of self-worth, and yet some reason I can't explain, this self-worth was lacking in some respects. I felt capable and smart, but not particulary interesting or attractive. Of course, my mother, my wife, they thought differently. But somehow I discounted that as a biased opinion.
So here I met Mirriam with mom. I knew Mirriam, but not well, and probably had not solidly put name to face yet. On this particular occasion, I discovered what a wonderful, elegant, warm person she was. She was much much older than I, and yet was still full of elegance, charm, and beauty. She was so engaging with me that I felt wonderful about myself. I am both ashamed to admit it (because my mother was certainly fully loving and supportive of me), and glad to admit it (because it speaks volumes for the kind of person Mirriam was), but she was perhaps the first person who really allowed me to see myself as fully interesting and handsome. From that day forward, my confidence in my self in this are slowly and inexorably increased. It may sound trivially self-centric, but feeling good about yourself that way is keenly important to a full sense of well being.
I've loved her ever since as one who *saw* me, and helped me *see* myself. Every time I saw Mirriam after that I made a point to return the warmth she had so completely filled me with. I had far too few opportunities to return that warmth.
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